Ever considered throwing in the towel, and done it?

I feel for you and your situation as most of us have been there too. One thing that may not have crossed your mind is to continue as best you can to keep up with your place as well as all of your animals in the best condition as possible until you make a decision of what you will do and do it. Since the bleeding heart types may see a sick animal or a dead one at your place and in their horror just may turn you in to the humane society and/ or pita ... they will hound you mercilessly. A friend , in a situation similar to yours finally had a nervous breakdown from their harassment, animal seizeure , and appearance in court for animal abuse. I wish you the best of luck !

I'm so sorry for this terrible situation . In times of death and loss on my farm, I often wonder at the opposition of it all. The joy of helping bring new life into the world and caring for the animals we love brings such incredible joy, but losing the animals that bring us this joy can cause some of our biggest sorrows. Sometimes the joy is worth the sorrow, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Only you know what's best for this time in your life, and what you can handle. Please know that all of us support you in whatever you choose. I know we're all virtual, but I think I speak for the group when I say, if there is any way we can help, please let us know.

Throwing in this towel now does not mean you won't get a new towel and start again one day. Southern made an excellent point...you are going to be a first freshener yourself soon and perhaps this is not the best time for critters .... when is your little bundle due to arrive? You may find it a relief to be able to concentrate on your own sweet blessing full time

And as Honey said...we may be virtual, but we truly care and will support you in whatever you decide and will help if we can

Thank you everyone for your honesty.

No matter what is decided, I will not, in good conscience, be able to sell these animals until they have fully recovered, lost all scabs, and been bathed (I cannot imagine this process). In the very least, they will be here another month and things may or may not have changed by then. The towel may be picked up, or I might have run it over a hundred times with the lawn mower. Getting out of them now that we have dealt with one of the few severe strains of soremouth seems almost silly now. Our chances of dealing with a case this severe again have thinned tremendously; still exist, but not as easily.

I love my girls, but I cannot bear the thought of their lives here being filled with a lack of care, which is the feeling that has overwhelmed me. Loving something isn`t enough. Hoarders love their animals, but they love them to -death- and that`s the inherent problem. I do not do well with loss or failure -- in job interviews, when asked my biggest fault, I have always said I am extremely hard on myself. Lives are in the balance here, so that intensity goes up.

I love all of you. This is a great community and I`m glad to be part of it.

Your post, and your circumstances, breaks my heart. I can only repeat what the others have said because they have offered so much wisdom. Take it one day at a time and see what each day brings. You know you aren't done today because you still have care to provide. Time will tell. Until then, please try to be less hard on yourself. (Easier said than done.) Sometimes things just suck and there probably isn't anyone here who, under the same circumstances, some known and some unknown, wouldn't have had the same (awful) experiences. Prayers that you find the path you are meant to follow. And more of these little guys who are just hugging their hearts out to you!

I think about it all the time. Would it be better to travel the world than be stuck on the farm? Maybe. I do miss traveling. But for now, the farm is where I belong.

Ever considered throwing in the towel, and done it?

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I've done it twice over the decades, but because of high prices beef cattle were bringing, and am thinking about it again. It's hard to pass up liquidating a whole herd when they are bringing the prices they are, but will have to wait and see what the spring sales are going to do. Thought very hard about it in 2011's drought and taking a big loss. But that's not an emotional loss or heartbreak like you are going thru..

Sorry to hear about your losses Sweetened. It does sound like it is all or mostly weather related, since the losses are across more than one species and over an extended period of time. Animals can stand lots of cold, as long as that is all it is--cold. But they can't stand cold+wind+wet very well. I worry less about mine when the temp is 15°F and clear than I do when it is 40°F, rainy and wind blowing, and it doesn't take much of that miserable weather to drag their survival ability down. You have much much colder weather and snow to boot, which I have no experience with but people do raise livestock successfully in that clime and worse. All we can do anywhere, is try to find out what happened and why and try to move forward, tho it sure sounds more like a string of separate and different causation over a period of time that add up to emotional disappointment. Sometimes, we just have a bad year. One of my neighbors lost (last year) 2 calves to feral dogs, a yearling sized steer died for no apparent reason, coyotes got a 3 day old calf, his family milk cow developed mastitis in 2 qtrs, a promising bull and prospective future herd sire has no libido whatsoever, and his favorite dog and years long companion died. Individually, the emotional and financial loss is manageable, but cumulatively, very hard to take.

I too am sorry for your losses Sweetened! Prayers sent your way!
This year was a bad year for us with chickens too... we lost (I don't even know how many) chickens, including my three favorites. I also lost my 8 year old rabbit (not surprised at that one), and 5 out of 7 of my rabbits' first kits. I know death is a part of life, but it is hard.
I like what @bonbean01 says about we will support you in whatever you decide... well said!