Samssimonsays: Blazing Acres journal

I don't have either side of the story in full, have no idea of all the nuances, no knowledge of history or background, and therefore would be remiss to "take sides". In virtually any/every argument/disagreement, there are valid points on BOTH sides. That's where love, compassion, understanding, compromise, support, and choice happens. I don't know if it's a money/cost issue, a power/control issue, a health issue (I believe you said he has allergies), whatever... the two of you need to address and decide where you're going and why, then how you're going to get there.

On the surface, choosing a puppy over the marriage does sound like a lack of commitment, HOWEVER, that IS the surface and this entire issue goes a whole lot deeper than that! There is a lot more involved here than just a puppy. It's my belief that there are much bigger issues between you.

Your best friend, if indeed she IS your best friend, must have a much better understanding of all aspects than anyone here could have. If she's your best friend, I would have to think she has your best interests at heart. Only you can determine if that's the case. I truly hope that you and your husband can work your relationship out to where you both can be happy. As always, it will come down to choices. Wishing you the best and happiness.

Edit to add: "choosing a puppy over the marriage does sound like a lack of commitment..." That is a two sided coin... he is choosing NO puppy over the marriage, so where is HIS commitment?

I am a loss for words so I can only send a cyber hug. My heart breaks for you, I know the loss and the sense of betrayal you are feeling, I am sorry and there is not always an easy fix.

I'm sorry about Sadie leaving sending you a great big hug

I'm so sorry Sam, I hope you and he can come to terms on the whole animal situation, and I hope you won't give up your dreams and passion for anything. Big hugs and all my love to you

Sam,

I feel your pain here. I'm so sorry about all of this. I'm here if you need me, we all are.

Sweet Sam, I know your loss is painful, and I pray for your heart to be healed. @Latestarter and @Southern by choice both expressed a lot of wisdom. Try to take a step back from the moment, with all of its pain, and see if you can figure out why "this puppy". I understand having that "connection" with a dog, but usually it is born of shared time and experiences, not just the "puppy love" we often feel when we 1st meet a great pet. It generally takes time for the personality to develop enough depth to really get deep inside of us. I do know that you spent a lot of time bonding with these babies, especially Sadie, but I'm thinking the power of that bond was amplified by something lacking elsewhere. THAT is what you need to look for...the thing that's missing. I don't want to give you a bunch of dime-store psychology, but one's spouse should be the source and recipient of one's most intimate feelings. Bonding SO profoundly, in such a short time, with a pet seems to indicate some connection problems between you two. If DH (like most men, even my DH, who has very little in common with most men) has trouble opening up and talking about whatever is REALLY going on, maybe you guys need to look into a little formal or informal help. Remember, we can't supply everything our partners want or need, but their wants and needs should be our primary concern. I won't go on, now, but I will be praying for you, BOTH of you. You have such a warm heart and a gentle spirit, PLEASE, don't let this overwhelm you. Reach out for comfort, 1st to DH, then to your best friend, then to a spiritual leader you trust. Don't let that wound fester, it may become infected, and THAT is a tough infection to heal.

I have started some plants for our garden this year and I am totally new in all of it.... I have no clue what I am doing and can kill a cactus... actually... I have killed Cacti, plural....

So this is a totally new experience for me.... I may have planted some things too early for the Minnesota seasons I couldn't help it! I was just SOOOOO excited!

Sta

Samantha drawz said:

I have started some plants for our garden this year and I am totally new in all of it.... I have no clue what I am doing and can kill a cactus... actually... I have killed Cacti, plural....

So this is a totally new experience for me.... I may have planted some things too early for the Minnesota seasons I couldn't help it! I was just SOOOOO excited!

Click to expand...

Start small and don't hesitate to buy started plants. And work in some manure prior planting.

promiseacres said:

Sta

Start small and don't hesitate to buy started plants. And work in some manure prior planting.

Click to expand...

Thanks! I have some very large rabbit manure compost inthe woods for it and we burned a huge brush pile on it last year. I heard that ash is good for it too? It was a huge garden before but the house sat dormant for 2 years so it is overrun... Not sure what they did with it before but there is a second one on a different area of the property as well but smaller and not enough sunlight?

I started beans, peas, corn, cucumbers and different squash and zucchini... Lettuce, tomatoes, bell peppers, kale, spinach, okra, swiss chard, lima bean, brussel sprouts and I know I did more... THose are just what is started and on my kitchen table already growing out of control... I planted them on Valentine's day and did not expect them to be sprouted with leaves and all yet.... My beans are like 2 ft tall already with huge leaves

I am having difficulty uploading pics... it is just not letting me for some reason. But we won't be able to put them in the ground outside until April or May if we are really lucky... Which is why I think I started them too soon