Ragdollcatlady's Just a Little Patch of Weeds Farm journal

ragdollcatlady

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Thank you

I know I need some time to feel and heal. I also know that I am not wrong, in the decisions and the choices I made that led both to this and away from it. It hurts though. I have learned a lot and gave everything I had, and then some. So I walk away with no regrets.

I think that is the best gift I can give myself. From the previous divorce... I made sure that even when I knew I was on a sinking ship, I still gave everything I had. For this relationship with Alaska, I too, gave everything I had and even considered a lot of things, I never thought I would. I have done a lot of introspection, and I willingly sacrificed a lot, and tried to see what I might be able to change within myself, without sacrificing who I am.

I would love to share a wonderful, crazy, slightly hectic life with someone that could appreciate me for who I am and what I have to offer.
 

ragdollcatlady

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I skipped all but the feeding/watering/keeping everyone alive chores. I was too sad to stay home and went out for some retail therapy..… Problem with that is.... I have baby fever and I have other peoples babies I need to shop for. I bought 2 baby sleeping bags (don't really know how else to describe them, but they have sleeves and are basically just a zip up bag ) for my BFFs grandbaby, since I found them finally!!! I had some for my twins 20 years ago, but recently, all I could find were the thin, sleeveless kind. These are fuzzy and have full sleeves, so they keep newborns nice and cozy. And then, since the store only had 4 total, and none on the website, I bought the pink and green ones for me... and a unicorn lovey too cause I wanted it for my someday babies. Without a life partner of any type in sight anymore, I know my chances are getting fewer and farther between, but I'll leave this one to my Creator. If not for my own babies, surely there will be grandkids, nieces/nephews or maybe even fosters around soon enough. I also looked for my coworkers baby girl, due next month, but I couldn't decide on what I thought she would like. Guess Ill just have to go baby shopping again! I like shopping for baby stuff though, so that is ok.

I also picked up some allergy meds for my 21 year old baby, sneezies are kicking his behind lately. He said he will help me with some goat chores in the next couple days... I got my new hoof clippers in the mail and its time to do some herd maintenance.

Then I did some best friend therapy for a few hours. Had some champagne, with my girlfriend offering a toast to 'new love' that is hopefully just around the corner..... somewhere.
 

Baymule

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Don’t get discouraged. My Daddy died when my Mom was 69. Turning 70 hit her hard. She was sad and depressed for 2 years. She finally started getting out and doing things. She met a great guy at the Senior Citizens Center, they dated then got married. They went on trips, cruises, had fun and enjoyed living to the fullest. They had a good 10 years together before he died. I was happy for the both of them.

So don’t get all wonky over this guy. There is someone out there, just for you, that will love you for who you are.
 

Mini Horses

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On the flip side, I've been without a partner since my DH passed 20 yrs ago this month. I was only 53. While there are times I would like to have a friend to accompany places, it isn't all bad having only me to consider when I make decisions. If a person came into my life, I'm open to that but, I am not out there looking at everyone I meet. :D =D Life is still good.

Just saying -- chill, regroup and move along. It will work out.
 

ragdollcatlady

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I have spent most of my life, actually alone (despite being married, we rarely lived in the same house), so I don't care for the idea of just more of the same. I am not a "need personal space" kind of gal anyway, I'm fine with my people all up in my business most of the time, hence all the kids and animals.... but I would really rather find an actual companion, someone to spend time with.

My confidante, we are going on 30 years of friendship, says that there is someone out there that would love me for me, just as I am, but that he is probably busy working and just dealing with life, and not out prowling for his next date ….. OK, sooooo…. how am I supposed to meet Mr Right if he is busy working and not out looking for me? :idunno


Anyways, Rudy was nice yesterday morning, he told me that I broke my plateau! :weee... then he was rude again! Then he was nice again.... (I am actually down a couple pounds)…. but he has issues! :old I even changed his batteries and what do I get for it???? Just more Rudy being Rudy!!! So I went to the gym and then got me some junk food mini taco/nachos! Whatever Rudy! I don't care what you think anyways. :tongue Besides, I always liked Francois better!

Then I tried the recipe I copied from an online site, weeks ago…. finally! :hide I made the crust last week.... took me this long to get around to putting the rest of it together.... but then the top didn't set right. :thThe cream part, crust, fruit and all, turned out good... just need to work on the top gel layer. Guess I'll have to try it again!
 

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