A Jesusfreaks tales of farm life with three kids

Jesusfreak101

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Mabey you need to explaine to him that with everything going on in the world right now, it's time you both focus more on what is best for you and your family and your business ...you can't take care of family and friends until you are able to take care of your self...and that goes for family living with you too, I don't mean to sound curt or mean, but your parents shouldn't rely on you to bail them out and give them a home when you have four young children to take care of ....take care of yourself FIRST, that's where your responsibilities lie :hugs
this is one reason i love yall we very like minded. For years I been telling them to stop doing stupid things taking out loans act. But I am crazy and no one can make it that way. Well not when your in debt your right. They just did more stupid and took out another loan for 450 (dad had want 1000 but the denied that) they are in so much debt and I am terrified what happens when they are gone. They owe i think i posted before 70,000 dollars in loans before the recent ones. They can't afford to keep going like that but they don't want to do anything but make the minimum payments. And one is for the roof and the other is the its. And a few others here and there. They plan to leave me the house and I am like no no no i don't want any part of that. It doesn't help with dad's medical also. But I found a lawyer that would cost 3500 to get the its to register them as uncollectiable so they couldn't go after them any more and that was a year or more ago they never did it.... I even offered to pay for it... I am frustrated with it all. I know some of my friends are tired of hearing about it. But yeah. They keep trying to borrow from my grandfather who is a ...how to but it likes to use people and is down right mean when they owe him anything plus he horrible to my mother. I am keep telling them to stop the madness. But no another reason i don't want them loving with us. They spend what ever they make and then some. I am just think say to much seriously and even if they come up they don't plan to sell their house down there either. I am pretty sure a need a therapist just to vent to but then i am terrified they would try to dope me up or send me to a nut house just to get a vacation lol. One reason i love being able to say i can't come down to much going on with animals ect. Which is horrible i know but it honestly saves my sanity. My brothers are just as bad. One completely mimics my dad the other just refuse to do anything. They drive me crazy pretty sure most of my family are nuts love them nuts and all. With this virus stuff they all keep saying they so thankful they have me because with (what they call crazy lol) obsession on remaining stocked on food and having animals ect that they would all be more worried. I am like uh huh my kinda of crazy is good when stuff happens but when things are normal you 'll go back to call me crazy and thinking I love animals more the my kids how little you know. Lol. Okay I hoping this rants over with i am not sure where all that came in to plat but i feel better. I am going to go play with the animals and garden and the rug rats i probably still be talking to yall through. As this nonsense continues to unfold.
 

Xerocles

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From a guy's perspective.
He's doing the same thing you are. You're looking out for the kids and protecting them. He's doing the same. You trend the house and kids. He provides the $ so you can do that. Its just what guys do. And, in our minds, a job missed is money that isn't available for the family. So, go a little easy on him. You're asking him to do less for the family.
That said, he's wrong. As so many others have said, this is not the time to spread yourselves thin. Like building a house. Don't try to stress on the color paint, until you know the foundation is perfect.
Stick to your guns (you're right) but try to do it so as to not threaten his need to do all he can to protect his family.
 

thistlebloom

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JF, you really need to draw a line in the sand with your family. It sounds like all of them will swarm you when things get bad and I think you need to be mentally prepared for it and have your sweet husband on board for a united front.
They aren't learning from their mistakes or even from your good counsel and example, just looking for someone to keep bailing them out. Hang tough girl.
 

farmerjan

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I feel for you having to worry with the family/parents part, then having to juggle your husbands' want to expand. But with the way things are going, you really do need to stay strong and stand your ground. First off, DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER moving your kids around to accommodate your parents moving in. That is NOT FAIR TO YOUR CHILDREN. And it is obvious that you really do get it. But, stand like an immoveable object and do not give in on that. First off, even though you are sometimes unhappy with the house and all that, it is still YOUR HOUSE, and you need to keep that as a "SAFE PLACE" for your kids. It's not like you have extra space to start with.
You know you do not need them telling you how to raise your kids either. You are also farming, and that takes time and energy and is a good experience for the kids. They need that time and experience with you. They will appreciate it even more when you get the garden growing as they are old enough to help some there. Your older daughter can help pick, and even help you to process things, like helping prepare meals and helping getting food ready to can or freeze. She can "show off", that she helped put those jars on the shelf or those packages in the freezer. It is a good learning experience for her with rewards that can be seen.
Even the boys can help in ways that they can take pride. If your parents had the same work ethic and were on the same page as far as financial responsibility, it would be different. But they don't,they aren't financially responsible, you know it, and you are in a position to make sure that your family gets through it. Yes, help your parents with some food items..... but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES co-sign or help them with any loans. They are your parents, ADULTS by definition, and it is not your place to jeopardize your IMMEDIATE family, to take care of them or your brothers when they cannot rein in their spending situation.

Hopefully you can get through to your husband on the not expanding right now due to the infancy of the business. I am so very glad that it is doing that well..... but as I said earlier..... sub contract out to others who have the trucks and existing insurance and all to "expand"..... he won't make as much, but it will still be a good way to expand his name and reliability and will be a good basis in the future as this whole "corona-virus" mess gets worked out.

Stay strong, hold to your principles, I have faith in you to continue to do what is RIGHT FOR YOU and YOUR FAMILY.
 

Jesusfreak101

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I intend to dh likes the sub-contractor idea. He just running through ideas right now. On other news the calf has lice so treating her for that, also going to worm her. She already anemic so going to give her some iron, granted they did not have a iron for cattle or calves so using one they had for horses. As per my farm store guy that has goats, cattle and egg. One problem is I don't know how much to give her exactly its says 1 tablespoon per adult horse daily or for horse in training 2 tablespoons per horse. So i am thinking less is more in this case and saying 1tsp? Thought @farmerjan, anyone with cattle. Her tongue, and gums are white which is why I want to give her iron. She is covered the bloodsuckers. I put a pymethian powder on her yesterday evening to help this morning I am gonna use the pour on ivectim i an thinking using the amount for 250lb animal because i am guessing at her weight and I don't want to give her to much.
 

Jesusfreak101

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Oh and I plan on worming the goats. But I did find one at my local feed store that i been reading on and it doesn't require a milk with drawl as according the the articles i found it does not appear in the milk at any amount they can detect. So i am going to try that and see how that goes. If i don't see improvement i am going to order another one online @rachels.haven suggested. And go from there. With everything going on i forgot about it, also never made it to the vet with a sample and I probably won't for now. I am going to finish planting the garden today and working on cleaning house. I am going to try to clean the stalls some today and add bedding i have pineshaving in there right now. I 'll need to send dh with the truck to get some more before i clean it again. He on a run to corpus so he be gone most of the day. So many places are on lock down now its just hard to process. So far parents have jobs praying that contiunes and my mother loses interest in working for dh. Last i talked to her she wanted to work for him herself if my dad didn't go for it. I am praying she changes her mind. So far my dad's been dragging his feet on switching jobs he loves what he does but his body doesnt anymore. I enjoying being two hours away. For me it makes our relationship easier. My mother doesnt agree but oh well. My bf(bestfriend) feels The same about her folks so that make me feel better. Distance for me is key i love having alone time with my family and dh company is great but it can be over rated. When we lived down there they were over every day just about. And we had to get together every weekend. We decide our new vacation stop is going to be in the woods lol as my mother believes if we go down to the coast where they live we have to spend the entire time with them. She doesn't get we want to spend quality time together as a family. She never had to deal with that from her parents so partly i don't think she has a clue how her obsession effects us they same could be said of dh and my marriage she offers(very forcefully) horrible marriage advice that after nearly getting divoriced(very long story) i have learned to ignore. Same with the majority of parenting advice and the guilt trips. Since we lived up here I haven't felt as stressed as i did. Probably why it freaks me out about them moving up here I told dh that i would want to move another 2 hrs away if that happened.
 
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