A Jesusfreaks tales of farm life with three kids

Jesusfreak101

True BYH Addict
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Messages
1,855
Reaction score
3,798
Points
263
Location
Texas
I can be a patient person but i have had enough. My mom called this morning and was complaining about my brother and sister in law about them not paying bills and not takeing care of their babies. I pretty well told her what i thought. Told he stop clean up his messes like he a child who wet his bed. Also she said that(was a response to what i said) that she and dad model proverbs 30_31 for us and I told her(insert foot) that if dad had model that then either dad did a horrible job or my brother didn't get it since he models dad. My dad has always put things in the pawn store be not responsible with his money either. So i kinda of let loose i feel bad about it but enough is enough. I tired of being compared to my sister in laws who can not or will not be mother who are stay at home mothers and i will not take the other real of back in forth on if i am a good mother or able to do my worj then told i don't work hard enough and can't do it or the well you don't go to work try doing that and taking care of kids and everything or you don't have rent most people cant make it off of one income well you know I call bull.... I know a family that has 12 kids, 5 kids the list goes on that do. Nothing different they have one income and don't make what my brother does. This is old she need to tell him no she not going to help they can't afford to and I am tired of hearing about and then made to feel like I am the one whose messed up. There alot i take but that's enough i told dh under no uncertain terms can i handle them moving up here. I feel bad about that but it the way it stands i don't want to feel this way but i do. GOD is going to have to take this because i cant do it.
 

farmerjan

Herd Master
Joined
Aug 16, 2016
Messages
3,459
Reaction score
11,060
Points
458
Location
virginia
I totally support you and your feelings and the declaration of keeping your home and life for you and your immediate family. And you are right, you do not need the stress of being drawn into this constant bickering and fighting and being compared to the others in the family. You need to be able to keep your sanity to take proper care of your IMMEDIATE family. Your parents and brother(s), sister inlaw(s) and all others are extended family. You do what you want and can for the ones living in your household there. And I have to also agree that you need to hold firm with not letting them move up near you, and that you are not going to take sides nor offer advice as to how they live and that you also will only listen for 5 minutes then you will change the subject or hang up the phone. You are right to set limits. If they do manage to buy a trailer, then they need to find a place to park it near where your dad is working. They have no business and no right to try to move down near you with no confirmed job because your husband does not need to have people working with him that he has to "babysit" for either.
We are here for you to vent......
 

Jesusfreak101

True BYH Addict
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Messages
1,855
Reaction score
3,798
Points
263
Location
Texas
The trailer wasnt the live in but the um car hauling and yeah i am done i can't take it. My brother has two babies one that's under two the other thats a new born and mom talks about how my brother wants some one to stay with his wife incase she asleep and the baby needs something i can't function i want just to take them babies with everything they tell me and it's so frustrating to hear about everything but unable to do anything an mom goes over there enabling both and the babies are the ones suffering becsus3 even if i called they would help them clean and look like the best parents. Out of fear of losing the kids but they would go back to how they are. I am done with it they all need to grow up and stop. I can not change what i said and I can't be different its not right what they are doing. My brother needs to learn to swim and not be shown its ok to sink. It's not okay.
 

farmerjan

Herd Master
Joined
Aug 16, 2016
Messages
3,459
Reaction score
11,060
Points
458
Location
virginia
Sorry I misunderstood the trailer deal.... but even more reason to wonder why they want a car hauling trailer when they cannot manage things now, unless he has that much possibility of extra work?????

My heart aches for you wanting to give the children a "better life" yet you cannot do anything at this point but take care of your own family. If your parents continue to enable them, then it is on their head as much as it is tearing you up. Maybe somewhere down the line there will be someone who can intervene for their benefit.
 

Jesusfreak101

True BYH Addict
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Messages
1,855
Reaction score
3,798
Points
263
Location
Texas
I did not explain very well your fine. Yeah it's a nutty life
I just can't keep hearing it all and no action being taken. Dh does have extra work more often he turning down jobs but this week he had two for today but one fell through and right now he has no other jobs for this week. That i can recall. I could be wrong.
 

Jesusfreak101

True BYH Addict
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Messages
1,855
Reaction score
3,798
Points
263
Location
Texas
Okay other news the goats are breaking back into our yard instead of staying in the pasture.... seriously goats some changes is good. So i threw up a cattle panel the best i could its a temporary fix that i hope to fix once I can get time. The two youngest have extra needy. Oh the garden even better today, more yellow squash has come up, the zuccine has come up, the cucumber has come up the Swiss chard has come up. Lots of beans, broccoli has come up. More cantaloupe has popped up along with watermelon, corn and pumpkin. A few others looked to have but i didn't get to look long. I am getting excited to see them coming out so well. I keep adding fertilizers i have a liquid miracle grow organic one (it was on sale and i like organic on alot of things) anyways i be hosing that stuff on it asap. Also I need to get rid of the fire ants so i might go non organic on that that and the harvested ants need to die. I am tired of them both. Concerned about the kids and animals getting into it one reason i have held back on using it and been using de but that only makes them hid so need a new plan.
 

thistlebloom

True BYH Addict
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
1,090
Reaction score
3,742
Points
263
Location
Idaho panhandle 48th parallel
I am a little jealous of your garden taking off! Sounds wonderful. I planted sugar snap peas today. It will be awhile before I will have a full garden growing. Your corn seeds got remailed yesterday btw. :)

Regarding standing your ground with your family, good on ya girl!! :highfive:
I like Jans idea of limiting conversations to 5 minutes, just long enough to know everyone is still on the top side of the soil, say 'I love you and talk to you again soon' and not get dragged into a depressing complaint session. Been there done that and that is the way to go for sure.
I have a friend who once told me that her conversations with her mom are Pepsi commercials. Short and sweet. I always remembered that as my mom had a way of dragging me down with gripes about my dysfunctional and evil little sister that she continually propped up and bailed out.

I know it might make you feel bad for hurting your moms feelings, but I'm real proud of you for telling the truth and making your position very clear. :hugs
 
Top