Canesisters 2023 journal - turning my Disasters into Delights

[canesisters]

I have neglected my farm.
There. I said it.
In front of other farmers.
I've let messy become Oppressive.
I mean hoarder kind of "messy". It's embarrassing & is sucking any pleasure and joy out of doing the things that the farm is FOR.
I can try to blame it on the dire straits that I found myself in after my husband passed & the mindset of save EVERYTHING because I can't afford to replace ANYTHING.... but that was many, many years ago and life has changed quite a bit.

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EDITED TO ADD THIS SECTION
I saw where someone else did a list/index on a journal that they added-to throughout the year and I thought it was a great idea

January: The Big Barn Cleanout!/wheelbarrow feeder for Eva/door on feed room/fridge into feed bin/work bench gone/new generator/rubber mats EVERYWHERE
February: saddle sold/work drama/GRAVEL!!/rain collection-diversion set up
March: final perimeter fence in the chicken coop
April: installed picket fence along the front of the chicken coop & started the new planting bed there/Jury duty/new washer/Disney trip/Jim fired - Extreme work drama!!!!
May: drama, drama, drama/Jane's car load of plants/bulb garden re-done/tiller arrives/created bed for the glads/started tilling in The Piney Woods to make beds for all the rest of Jane's gifted plants
June: cows getting out, got the BLUES big-time and super depressed doubting if I should even be trying to keep livestock - BUT!!! Thanks to yall's encouragement, making a plan (short term & long term) to solve this fencing problem once and for all / New Fence Charger (6/9/23) & start of removal of all perimeter poly lines, tester showing 8 lights!!!! / 6-10 all lines replaced from the barn to the far corner in the N pasture plus the under-gate @ the hay wagon re-worked / the girls back in the far pasture & fence still showing 8 lights / going 6-24 to meet Bertie the boxer / 6/26 ADOPTED Birdie the boxer - 'let the GAMES begin'! LOL
July : Birdie dealing with sep. anxiety, trying anything & everything to help her / She broke OUT OF THE HOUSE / took her to work a week / Ended up building 'Fort K-9ox' in the Piney Woods to hold her / Started clicker training on basics
August : Got a fox in the chicken coop & ran HOT wire around the bottom / Chaos got a urinary blockage & spend 2days in vet ICU / postponed Marilyn's spay ... again / Work Troll spend most of the month in 'fine form' / continued setting a good, firm routine for Birdie / BIRDIE HEARDED!!! / Split off part of N. Pasture to grow Sept grazing
September : decided I have had enough of 'work troll', will inform the boss I'm looking for another position - he can decide if he's brave enough to address her insanity or not / saw my first real Monarch butterfly! / boss decided that he's not going to let me move because he knows the troll can't do her job w/out me helping her / job hunt at 55yrs begins <gulp> / started back milking Eva & weaning Blossom /

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That being said... it's TIME TO FIX THIS!

Starting earlier this month I enlisted the help of a friend who is RUTHLESS about purging & cleaning & organizing

to come help me dig my way out.

First up is THE BARN - specifically the Feed Room, to start off with.
I've started bagging up the trash and the 'what the heck IS this & why do I have it?' stuff. I'm filling buckets and boxes and carts with stuff that needs to be somewhere else in the barn. She will be here this Sunday & I expect there will be a HUGE amount of progress (... and probably a good bit of whining, and maybe even a few tears)

To my shame - here are the before pictures.

... does anyone have any advice about turning an OLD fridge into a feed bin?

 

[Mini Horses]

I feel your pain -- love the resolve. I have some similar messes from when mom had to move in and with big A....care time, work loss, it all dumps on you. Takes a while to struggle thru the loss, depression, finances and life. Its what happens -- total disruption and survival mode. You'll plow thru!! ☺️ Keep hanging in there. It takes a while, little bits at a time. Some now, some later, it's ok! Your life was a tornado for a while.

 

[canesisters]

Started sorting the mess on the useless counter. Took a break & made Eva's dinner. As she rushed in, one of her back legs slipped on the mats I had put in her stall to make cleaning before milking easier & she almost went down like a frog!!!!! SCARED me more than it did her, I think. 😱 So no more feed room cleaning. Moved all the huge, heavy, mucky mats out to the driveway. Guess they'll get a bit of a cleaning too if we get the rain they're calling for.

 

[canesisters]

Tonight's 'after'. Still a long way to go.
There is another space in the opposite corner of the barn that has sooooo many assorted tools & bits & pieces & things. That space isn't enclosed, has a damp dirt floor, etc. The goal this weekend is to tear down that counter. Put up shelves & a little cabinet in its place. Then start to move & sort all the tools into this room.

Still open to any advice about turning an old fridge into a feed bin.

 

[Baymule]

You are very brave to bare your soul and your mess to the internet. LOL But by doing that, there is no turning back. There is method to your madness.

I have boxes of stuff still at sons house that I HAVE to get out. A friend is moving in it in May. There re boxes of my husband’s stuff that I have to bring here and go through. Knowing me, I’d rather go chainsaw and machete chop briars, brush and trees out of the fence rows in 100 degree heat. I shall soon be facing your dilemma.

Refrigerator; dismantle the door locking mechanism for safety. Lay it on its back and fill with feed.

 

[canesisters]

You are very brave to bare your soul and your mess to the internet. LOL But by doing that, there is no turning back. There is method to your madness.

I have boxes of stuff still at sons house that I HAVE to get out. A friend is moving in it in May. There re boxes of my husband’s stuff that I have to bring here and go through. Knowing me, I’d rather go chainsaw and machete chop briars, brush and trees out of the fence rows in 100 degree heat. I shall soon be facing your dilemma.

Refrigerator; dismantle the door locking mechanism for safety. Lay it on its back and fill with feed.

It is very hard to be between 2 lives. You are wise & resourceful and I have no doubt that you will find ways to use some of those things in this new life that will honor your old one.

 

[Mini Horses]

Agree on frig convert. 👍

 

[Ridgetop]

Your "before" pix look better than my after pix. The stuff in my sheds seems to breed.

 

[canesisters]

Your "before" pix look better than my after pix. The stuff in my sheds seems to breed.

... confession... the 'before' is after a big'ol lawn sized trash bag was picked up.

Why is it SOOO HARD to toss misc little nuts and bolts and bits and tiny PVC elbows (what in the world did I do that left me with spare tiny plumbing parts??) and a single deck screw......

 

[canesisters]

I forgot to add that I removed the shelves and scrubbed out the fridge last night too.
Don't want to miss documenting any of the steps. This thread is more to inspire me than anything else.
I've got a TREASURE - a big, sturdy barn. That has a (mostly) dry floor. It provides ENOURMOUS comfort and ease - even in the state it's in - and I want to not only be grateful for it but to be comfortable (maybe even proud?) to let anyone see inside it.

Odd... as HUGE as this thing is.. there isn't as much room inside as I thought. Might hold 4 bags of feed in the main part. Might line the 'freezer' with a Heavy Duty trash bag and keep salt/mineral in there.
Eva goes through spurts where she will ignore her mineral station completely for weeks and then eat it all in a day. So when I notice that she's tearing through it, I like to add some to her feed.

Or maybe just take the little spring loaded door off and keep scoops inside