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dog jokes

Discussion in 'Utterly Contagious Games, Jokes & Fun' started by greybeard, Sep 22, 2018.

  1. Sep 22, 2018
    greybeard

    greybeard Herd Master

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    The Italian Funeral
    A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he
    noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the
    nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse
    about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a
    solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short
    distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

    The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully
    approached the Italian man walking the dog and said... "I am so sorry
    for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've
    never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"

    "My wife's."

    ''What happened to her?"

    "She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

    He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

    “My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her
    and killed her also."

    It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian
    brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.

    The Jewish man then asked... "Can I borrow the dog?"

    The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I found my German Shepherd, Hondo, with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit was dead, and I panicked.. I took the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house. I gave it a bath, blew dried its fur, and put it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they would think it died of natural causes.

    A few days later, the neighbor asked me, "Don, did you hear that Fluffy died?"

    I said, "Um... no... what happened?"

    The neighbor replied, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath, and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
     
  2. Sep 22, 2018
    frustratedearthmother

    frustratedearthmother Herd Master

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  3. Sep 23, 2018
    animalmom

    animalmom Herd Master

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    You owe me a new keyboard, @greybeard! Got any more dog jokes? :)
     
  4. Sep 24, 2018
    Pastor Dave

    Pastor Dave True BYH Addict

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    I will have to borrow these for my "sermon jokes"
     
    Wehner Homestead likes this.
  5. Sep 24, 2018
    RollingAcres

    RollingAcres Herd Master

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  6. Oct 19, 2018
    Pioneer Chicken

    Pioneer Chicken True BYH Addict

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  7. Jan 18, 2019
    greybeard

    greybeard Herd Master

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    diggndog.jpg

    (yes I know...whoever photoshopped the photo forgot to remove the steering wheel...)
     
  8. Jan 18, 2019
    promiseacres

    promiseacres Herd Master

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  9. Jan 24, 2019
    RollingAcres

    RollingAcres Herd Master

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  10. Jan 24, 2019
    Wehner Homestead

    Wehner Homestead Herd Master

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    Must be burying a huge bone! :ep