From Baxter Black...predator free sheep

greybeard

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I like Baxter Black....funny guy and he's the real deal when it comes to livestock.
(The following is of course mostly satire)

A concept in protecting coyotes has been introduced by a group of Montana animal rights disciples: Predator Friendly Wool.

They proposed to develop a market for wool raised on ranches where sheep are not protected from predators. The sheep raisers who do not practice predator control are to be paid a bonus on their wool. They propose to sell Predator Friendly Wool products through boutiques.

Well, all I can say is HALLELUJAH! When was the last time anybody wanted to help sheep people? The government took away wool subsidies, eco-freaks wear petrochemical derivatives and cowboys won’t eat sheep. Suddenly, from out of left field we have concerned citizens with expendable income willing to buy and wear wool items. The hitch is that the sheep ranchers must help feed the coyotes, wolves, bears, lions, eagles, wild dogs, carnivorous poachers and mutton-loving piranha.


How can we go wrong? We’ll get national promotion. We can reduce costs by laying off herders and border collies. Park the camp wagons, use the carbine guns as planters, sell the mules. And all for the price of a few baby lambs and old ewes.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? And if the idea works, it may spread to other areas. Inner cities, for instance. They suffer from a terrible image problem. The streets are unsafe, tourism is nill, budgets are always in the red. How about Predator Friendly Neighborhoods.

Any community that did not discourage muggers, buglers, murderers, arsonists, purse snatchers and other assorted predators would be given increased federal dollars.

Police expenses would be cut drastically. Courts would close at noon. Lawyers would desert the community. Tours could be scheduled that allowed sensitive patrons to see predators in their natural habitat rolling winos, mugging passers-by, selling drugs and stealing cars. And all in an environment nationally advertised as Predator Friendly.

And just like the Predator Friendly Wool program, the new Predator Friendly Neighborhood plan could all be accomplished simply by sacrificing a few more sheep.


Or, how ’bout new election laws where presidents and politicians were elected for life. A Predator Friendly Congress, unaccountable to any voter.

Ah, my imagination ran away with me. But the sheep business needs a shot in the arm and the trade-off, though distasteful, is well worth considering. I guess my hesitation is the calling we have chosen.

Ezekiel 34:8 “… and my flock became prey to every beast of the field because there was no shepherd. …”

We are the shepherds.
"



Baxter Black is a cowboy, veterinarian, poet and humorist. His website is www.baxterblack.com.

But yes, there really is a Predator Friendly organization, and they have a website:
http://www.predatorfriendly.org/about/
 

Baymule

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I went to the predator friendly site and this has me truly excited. I have a decent fence to deter predators and two Great Pyrenees that are well fed, they would never eat a predator, only bark harmlessly. We have plenty of coyotes around here, and hawks too. According to a neighbor, he saw a black panther in his back yard and heard it scream. Can't get any more keystone predator than that.....but this is the guy who cut the pine trees around his house because pine trees steal electricity......

Anyhoo, who are these wonderful people who are so concerned over the Big Bad Wolf, that they are willing to pay more for their meat? I will have some lambs available for their consumption at an exorbitant price.

Yup, lots of predators around here, raccoons, possums, rat snakes, fox, bobcats, the list goes on.... We all live happily together and coexist peacefully. I wonder if stray dogs count? I am always concerned and call the county to come out and trap them so that they can find happy homes and to keep them from being coyote snacks.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 

GypsyG

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I like Baxter Black....funny guy and he's the real deal when it comes to livestock.
(The following is of course mostly satire)

A concept in protecting coyotes has been introduced by a group of Montana animal rights disciples: Predator Friendly Wool.

They proposed to develop a market for wool raised on ranches where sheep are not protected from predators. The sheep raisers who do not practice predator control are to be paid a bonus on their wool. They propose to sell Predator Friendly Wool products through boutiques.

Well, all I can say is HALLELUJAH! When was the last time anybody wanted to help sheep people? The government took away wool subsidies, eco-freaks wear petrochemical derivatives and cowboys won’t eat sheep. Suddenly, from out of left field we have concerned citizens with expendable income willing to buy and wear wool items. The hitch is that the sheep ranchers must help feed the coyotes, wolves, bears, lions, eagles, wild dogs, carnivorous poachers and mutton-loving piranha.


How can we go wrong? We’ll get national promotion. We can reduce costs by laying off herders and border collies. Park the camp wagons, use the carbine guns as planters, sell the mules. And all for the price of a few baby lambs and old ewes.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? And if the idea works, it may spread to other areas. Inner cities, for instance. They suffer from a terrible image problem. The streets are unsafe, tourism is nill, budgets are always in the red. How about Predator Friendly Neighborhoods.

Any community that did not discourage muggers, buglers, murderers, arsonists, purse snatchers and other assorted predators would be given increased federal dollars.

Police expenses would be cut drastically. Courts would close at noon. Lawyers would desert the community. Tours could be scheduled that allowed sensitive patrons to see predators in their natural habitat rolling winos, mugging passers-by, selling drugs and stealing cars. And all in an environment nationally advertised as Predator Friendly.

And just like the Predator Friendly Wool program, the new Predator Friendly Neighborhood plan could all be accomplished simply by sacrificing a few more sheep.


Or, how ’bout new election laws where presidents and politicians were elected for life. A Predator Friendly Congress, unaccountable to any voter.

Ah, my imagination ran away with me. But the sheep business needs a shot in the arm and the trade-off, though distasteful, is well worth considering. I guess my hesitation is the calling we have chosen.

Ezekiel 34:8 “… and my flock became prey to every beast of the field because there was no shepherd. …”

We are the shepherds.
"



Baxter Black is a cowboy, veterinarian, poet and humorist. His website is www.baxterblack.com.

But yes, there really is a Predator Friendly organization, and they have a website:
http://www.predatorfriendly.org/about/
:lol:
I love Baxter Black. I always turn first to the back page of my Western Horseman magaine to read his column "The Edge of Common Sense".

Baxter Black and Patrick McManus are my two favorite humorists ever.
 

Latestarter

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Pat McManus was my favorite outdoor humorist. I have several of his books. I can sit there and read and he'll have me laughing so hard I'm literally crying. Mostly because my imagination can actually see happening exactly what he's detailing. Also, many of the "antics" he writes about, I have had similar adventures. The grasshopper trap was an all time fave. :lol:
 

Ridgetop

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Bay: It is Predator Friendly Wool, not meat! You don't think those crazies would actually ant to eat a sweet little lamb do you?! They are safe offering that extra bonus for PFW though, since without predator control there would be no sheep and thus no wool!

I also love Baxter Black!
 

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