Just venting... not looking for sympathy or anything. Just feeling the need to express frustration.
Last week was my 'long week'. Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun. 12hr days. Lots of focus on my trainee so she can test out this week to the last phase, while still doing the job & surpassing our goals. Keeping the animals all fed & content around the farm, house clean, etc.
Last night Chaos didn't seem to be feeling good so I was up off & on all night keeping an eye on him. Seems to have just been some tummy trouble, he seems fine today.
Anyway... there's nothing pressing that NEEDS me today. The house is passably clean. There's plenty of clean laundry. The fridge is FULL of easy food. Yard work needs doing, but will still be there this evening or tomorrow.
I 'slept in' till 7. Let the chickens out & refilled everyone's water. Fed the roos. Checked on Eva (who's loving the new grass). I put on some 'comfort TV background noise' & settled in to doom-scroll, Amazon shop, do a little Google searching. Dad has had 2 naps this morning & has just gotten up, come into the den and scolded me for 'spending all day staring at that thing'.... 'you're going to ruin your eyes!'
I bit my tongue, took a deep breath, and said that my eyes would be ok since I spend hours every day distinguishing between threads the size of a pencil lead from 15meters away.
I'm
trying to be grateful for the opportunity to take care of him. People keep wanting to remind me 'he was patient with you', 'he took care of you'.... but he didn't. MOM essentially raised us alone. His contribution was little more than modern child support payments. It FEELS like this polite elderly neighbor had been staying with me... for 2 months.
The demo portion of his home repairs is over. The new project mgr for the rebuild portion came out Thurs to take measurements & pictures & readings.... as if his counterpart in the demo division hadn't JUST done all that on Tues. He is supposed to have his report submitted to the insurance guy by today so they can FINALLY schedule the
start of the repairs.
I'm just whining. I want my house back.
I want to be able to tumble out of bed & stumble to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of ambition without having to stop & put on a bra.
I want to have a mid morning snack or even a whole second breakfast without someone commenting 'You eating again?? You just ate! Where could you
possibly put all that food!'
I want to watch what I like on TV without constant huffing & sighing & comments about fantasy or sci-fi or animation being silly & stupid & not making sense.
I want to come home after a long day & not have to make polite small talk for half an hour before going to bed.
Like I said, I'm just venting. I don't seem to have anywhere else to whine. <pout>
edited to add: he's been sitting down in the living room for about 2hrs. Just sitting. All the cats are here in the den. No TV. No radio. No book. Nothing. Just sitting still. Listening to himself breathe.
Why does he do that???? Does anyone else do that?? Is it me? Is it weird that I can't stand to just sit in silence.. for hours on end?
as if the reason for purchasing a motor home is good gas mileage.
