My BJ, My Husband has Died

[GLENMAR]

Grief is not talked about as much as it should be. I have been grieving my loss for 15 months now. It’s getting better, but still hard. We were together for 23 yrs. I do understand.

 

[fuzzi]

Grief is not talked about as much as it should be. I have been grieving my loss for 15 months now. It’s getting better, but still hard. We were together for 23 yrs. I do understand.

It's been 13 months for me. I had a bad day last week, but am better now.

There are some wonderful caring, supportive people here. I'm so glad I found BYH.

 

[GLENMAR]

It's been 13 months for me. I had a bad day last week, but am better now.

There are some wonderful caring, supportive people here. I'm so glad I found BYH.

wow. Glad I came back here.

For me it was rough learning to take care of so many things alone. I had to learn to ride the zero turn mower.
I had to figure things out for myself.

 

[Baymule]

wow. Glad I came back here.

For me it was rough learning to take care of so many things alone. I had to learn to ride the zero turn mower.
I had to figure things out for myself.

You should have seen me trying to hitch up the stock trailer for the first time in my life, all by myself. It took dang nigh an hour. I clocked over 4 miles on my step counter that day, most of which was between the driver's door and the trailer hitch. I'd get out, walk to the bumper and I'd be 3" to one side or the other of the trailer ball. Every. Time.
Finally I had the tongue centered over the ball and I just stood there looking stupid.

Then I had to go back it up to my home made craptastic loading chute. I was better at that, it only took 20 minutes.

My husband was perfect at all things trailer. My job was to clap my hands and tell him how wonderful he was. Why would I mess with that?

I got those magnetic thingys with a green tennis ball on top, stick one behind the trailer ball and one on the trailer tongue. Back up until they kiss. But I still suck at backing up. When I take lambs to auction, I usually get out and tell one of the hands there to back it up for me--or I can take 30 minutes to do it myself and piss everybody off.

 

[Baymule]

@GLENMAR It's ok if you need to talk about it, just come here and let it out. You are with friends.

 

[GLENMAR]

@GLENMAR It's ok if you need to talk about it, just come here and let it out. You are with friends.

Thanks. . It's just me and the dogs and the cows, with a few other animals hanging around. The house is quiet. It was hard to figure out how to cook for just one person. I threw out a lot of food at first. I did manage to get the garden going. I have a girl down the road that will hold gates for me to put out round bales for the cattle, so I think I have most things figured out. Last year was very stressful, and I hate depending on other people.

I'm ok with hooking up the stock trailer, but I suck at backing up.

 

[Baymule]

I have double gates on two fields. I call them gates, other people might call them hog panels. But I can unhook them, swing them open and drive the tractor through. There are real gates on the outside, then I built night pens and holding pens and thus the double gates were born.

 

[GLENMAR]

I've got some more fence projects to work on soon, and hopefully I will be able to do it myself next fall/winter.

 

[Baymule]

I've got some more fence projects to work on soon, and hopefully I will be able to do it myself next fall/winter.

You have plenty of support here!

 

[GLENMAR]

I still haven't cleaned out the two back bedrooms. Lots of memories in there. I was going to make it a winter project but just have not done it yet. Those rooms are filled with stuff.