Our Infant Son Has Brain Cancer- HOME AGAIN!!!

[pridegoethb4thefall]

The MRI yesterday showed 2 masses on our 15 month old sons brain. One deep in the middle, and one on the spinal cord where it connects to the brain.We are in shock and have no idea whats next.

Trying to stay off the internet... nothing but info on there about how babies just don't survive this and if they do, they are brain damaged from the treatments.

I am planning to sell my herd completely- don't think I can handle my goats AND a critically ill child. Don't know yet how we are going to make ti through this. Praying that the masses are benign, but its rather doubtful at this point.

Going to the neurosurgeon today for more info and to actually see the MRI. Terrified does not begin to express how we are feeling. This is our BABY... our youngest... Cant face losing him....WONT give up.

Please forgive me if I don't respond much, or go silent for awhile. They have already mentioned surgery, trying to shrink the masses, and possibly chemo.... HOW can this be?? He is too young to endure these things... too beautiful to leave us.... has too much life to live....


If ANYONE has ANY positive experiences to share, any hope to give, any support to offer.. PLEASE do!!! We need it!! PLEASE PRAY FOR SPENCER!!!




Please look me up on FB, Suzetta Vonzell, send me a friend request or message from BYH, not sure what my privacy settings allow anymore since FB keeps changing, but I update daily, and there is a Prayers for Spencer page for all the prayer warriors and friends to 'like'. Thank you so, so much!

 

[CocoNUT]

I don't have any positive experiences to share...but I just wanted to let you know I'm sending BIIIIIG hugs to you and your family.

 

[marlowmanor]

The MRI yesterday showed 2 masses on our 15 month old sons brain. One deep in the middle, and one on the spinal cord where it connects to the brain.We are in shock and have no idea whats next.

Trying to stay off the internet... nothing but info on there about how babies just don't survive this and if they do, they are brain damaged from the treatments.

I am planning to sell my herd completely- don't think I can handle my goats AND a critically ill child. Don't know yet how we are going to make ti through this. Praying that the masses are benign, but its rather doubtful at this point.

Going to the neurosurgeon today for more info and to actually see the MRI. Terrified does not begin to express how we are feeling. This is our BABY... our youngest... Cant face losing him....WONT give up.

Please forgive me if I don't respond much, or go silent for awhile. They have already mentioned surgery, trying to shrink the masses, and possibly chemo.... HOW can this be?? He is too young to endure these things... too beautiful to leave us.... has too much life to live....


If ANYONE has ANY positive experiences to share, any hope to give, any support to offer.. PLEASE do!!! We need it!! PLEASE PRAY FOR SPENCER!!!

So sorry to hear this. I can understand the fear though. When Logan first started having his seizures we went through MRIs and EEGs. One of the MRIs showed what they told us was 2 small spots on his brain. They said they could be nothing and something that the seizure medication they put him on would shrink or they could be something that would require surgery. I was scared to death about the possibility of surgery on him. Turns out it appears to be nothing to worry about. We had another MRI done later and they didn't see the same spots. I will be praying for your little boy and your family. I know this is a difficult thing to deal with.

That does remind me that I need to remember to discuss getting another MRI done on Logan since his seizures restarted. We have to go see his neurologist Friday to change his medication.

 

[BrownSheep]

my thoughts a prayers are with you and your son.

 

[promiseacres]

Praying!

 

[CrazyCatNChickenLady]

Sorry you have to face this. Hoping things get better foryou and your family.

 

[Roll farms]

Love and good thoughts coming your way. Babies should never, ever be sick. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

[pridegoethb4thefall]

Spencer is napping right now, so I thought I would take a moment and say thank you to everyone for their prayers and good thoughts..

We go to the neurosurgeon today for consult, and there is supposed to be several other specialists there as well. I can only hope and pray that Kaiser has a good treatment dept for these kinds of things.

I feel empty and yet full of despair, then I swing to anger at this disgusting 'thing' that has the nerve to invade my childs body. Tears fall I am not even aware of until I feel them sliding down my neck. I want to curl up in a dark place and run from all of this, pretend it is just a dream, but then I remember I am a fighter, a warrior mother, I never give up.

Im am trying to pretend to be happy for my other kids, trying to give them as 'normal' a time as possible right now. Ive already accidentally called Spencer 'Cancer' instead of his name- as though suddenly he is not 'Spencer', but is an embodiment of his disease. And I am horrified at myself...

My hubby broke down in sobs last night, and I had no idea how to comfort him... it is his loss too, but how do I be strong for EVERYONE??? My 15 year old daughter is a wreak over this, I didn't try to hide it from her, maybe I should have.

We have very few people here to help us, to lend a hand, or babysit, and certainly can't afford a service, 6 kids are already expensive, and with all the trips we will be taking Spencer for treatment, we will be needing my DD to help with watching kids. We are looking not some help from the county, they have some services, but not really any that help with the other kids, other than counseling (which Im all for).

If anyone is looking for some registered/registerble Nigerina Dwarfs, already bred, please let me know- I HAVE to get at least some of them sold. It breaks my heart to do so, and I wonder if I will NEED them for my own sanity...somewhere to go to get my mind off the pain of my son... a joy and uplifting thing I can look forward to despite the darkness of this disease. A kind of respite.. But I don't know if I can summon the strength to care for them and my son and my family.... Maybe I can reduce the herd to just a few and still care for them.... IDK what to do. When I am away from them, I want to never see them again... then when I go out there, I am lighter inside, feel relief and happy. And its not just them, I also have 2 young american guinea hogs we got before the diagnosis to raise for butcher, as well as a large flock of Jersey Giant chickens to care for. If any of them get sick or injured, I don't know how I can care for them too. So much of everything rests on my shoulders, but I am trying to be strong.

Sorry for the long rambling..... I just needed to get some of this 'out', ya know? Hope ya'll don't mind... Any ideas are welcome..

 

[bonbean01]

I am so sorry....and praying hard for your little one and you and your whole family

When our little grandson was born premature at 1 pound 11 ounces, specialists held little hope for him not being brain damaged, if he survived at all...lots of MRI's tears, prayers...then said he would need surgery once he got to 4 pounds on his eyes...said no chance of sight in one eye, and damaged sight in the other...well...they were all WRONG!!!! I have no doubt that prayer is powerful, and remember who the Great Healer is...that little guy did not get surgery...his eyesight is perfect in both eyes...he is not brain damaged...he turns 3 years old next month.

 

[woodsie]

Oh I can't imagine the heartbreak you are going through.....so awful to see children get caught in the crosshairs of this fallen world. I do have an uplifting story to share.

3 years ago my sister-in-law found numerous lumps on the back of her neck and eventually got them checked out. After a long diagnonsis period they determined she had a uncurable lymphatic cancer, almost unheard of for a fit, healthy 35 year old to have. She is a mother of 7 and could not believe that she had cancer - it was a SHOCK to our entire family....but we know that there is always hope and the family cried out in prayer. Our Lord did hear her cry and all her lumps are gone - praise the Lord! She did a lot of searching and God directed her to HIS answer for her...I'm sure He has one of Spencer too. I know this isn't a faith / religious forum and don't want to get into arguments here but I couldn't not share that there is ALWAYS hope....and God is my hope.

We just saw her out at her farm yesterday and their 8th child she is a picture of health and an inspiration to many.

Praying with you!

Cobie