TitlingWindmillsFarm Journal - GONE GOAT - When Bad Farming Happens to Good People

[TiltingWindmillsFarm]

First, let me start by saying that this is a true story.


My story.


I joined Back Yard Herds so I could tell readers about my farming experiences from early 2017 to early 2021. Living through these events was unbelievably painful. In addition to sharing my story for educational purposes, I need to tell this story to exorcise my demons. Holding on to these memories for past few years has been excruciating. Even with therapy, I could not speak about these events until recently. In fact, until now, I have yet to tell the whole story from beginning to end. I hope to do just that with this post.


Anyway, I truly appreciate you taking the time to read about my unusual farming experiences;….and when I say "unusual", I don't mean “offbeat”. I mean the "truth is stranger than fiction" kind of experiences. I mean outlandish, freakish, one in a million variety of experiences. I mean the type of experiences where you stop reading and say to yourself "that isn't possible" or "no way" or "that cannot be true". The sort of experiences you would submit to the Reddit in the forum "But wait, it gets worse" -- except you know the admins would delete the post.


You get the idea.




So, before I start, I want to be very clear about a few things

• Again, this is a true story

• There are several trauma triggers in this story (**TRIGGER WARNING**). I will try to include warnings throughout the story but, in all honesty, this whole story is a trigger for me.

• I have changed names, locations, and other identifying information in this story - not because I want to hide anything - but because I continue to be emotionally frail. As I start this story, I am not sure I will have the fortitude to follow through. I think anonymity will allow me to "pull away" and re-group during the telling (and reliving) of the most painful parts. If I am able to get through this story in full, I hope to introduce myself.\

• For the sake of the story, I need to tell it ALL. To do otherwise seems both disingenuous and disrespectful to the events, the people involved, and to you, the reader. Looking back, it is easy to see where I should have made different choices. I simply ask that, as you read this, you remember I am human. I make mistakes. I have feelings. By telling my story I am putting myself "out there". I am making myself vulnerable - This is especially hard for someone who has already been hurt and betrayed. Please be respectful, understanding, and constructive with your comments. Telling me what I should have done five years ago is a bit like closing the barn door after the cows have escaped (to use a farming idiom).

• I will eventually read ALL comments. However, I am not sure if I will be able to do so while simultaneously writing my story-- so please do not be upset at the lack of immediate response or reply. Reading comments in addition to storytelling may just be too painful or overwhelming.

• I will try to go in chronological order, but I may forget some things at first and need to jump back at some point. I will try to be as clear as possible if this happens.

• As honest as I plan to be in the telling of this story, this from my prospective. Different people can view the same things differently. I will do my best to differentiate between facts and feelings.

Again, thank you for reading my story.