rachels.haven's Journal

Baymule

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At some point, y’all will have to dig your heels in and stop all this moving and make a HOME. Everything else is just a house. Your DH’s loyalty is to be admired, but the boys will be grown and gone before he knows it and he will have missed the best part of their lives.
 

Finnie

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the higher powered DH jobs come with and SLOW down and enjoy the kids and life. We have a chance and enough cash on hand to do it tomorrow and then when the house here sells we'd have that in pocket to re-start a nest egg with...but my other half isn't ready to give up on ambition. This is the 38 year old guy who when we got married had plans to retire or semi-retire at 40
What Bay said!

It’s hard to convince someone that they will be sorry they missed out on the young years that slip by all too fast. It’s kind of something people have to get for themselves. I once heard someone say Nobody ever gets to the end of their life and looks back and thinks “Gosh I wish I had spent more time at work when my kids were little”.
Sounds simple, but I like the mess I've made and I'd still be tempted to get a mini program going again as soon as I could so I should probably just stick with it.
From the way you were describing your mini’s qualities, it seems like continuing with the ones you have would be so much better than starting over later! 😍
 

rachels.haven

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Mark does not have an entrepreneur's spirit. Give him a software task, even a seemingly impossible task that no one has been able to do before, and if there's a way, he will find it and he will do it, even if he has to do the work of an entire team to get it working and he'll do it FAST, and in the background while the rest of the team does the usual things. And he's self motivated and they tend to only check in with him once in a while. He's a manager's dream. (These work tendencies ran us into trouble on his mass team when the bosses figured him out and decided to milk him for all he was worth and burn him out-they were ruining his health-but they still use his software today and occasionally bug him about how to do this or that, he built a LOT of critical things for them). He DOES need insurance and the rest of us too though.

But anyway, we found a place, we're hashing out the offer and contract with the seller. It's a horse farm. Stupid expensive. Not what I asked for. Better than I need. Smaller house (he listened there). Cheaper and smaller than all the other agriculturally zoned properties within train distance from work because it's not a McMansion with a pool and other random stupid stuff that makes up other people's dreams and it's only 10 acres so no crop land to need to rent out.

Weirdest thing, the seller wants to take the arena footing and replace it with sand for the kids. That sand/felt mix must be expensive. We don't want it anyway. No ponies.

I need to get my garden starts outside. The wind won't stop blowing so I'm probably going to have to get some clear totes to be greenhouses/water source so the wind can't take all the moisture.

Anyway, we'll be okay. Maybe someday we'll have my dream instead of his interpretation of my dream. Money can't buy time back. You get an unknown set amount of it at birth. It would be really nice to scale down the intensity and demands since we have the option and have economic security and therefore the freedom to have more time. But what do I know? Maybe some day.
 

farmerjan

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I had to react sad... because you get it with the whole picture... and most men don't seem to see that they don't always need to push so hard, that you leave behind some of the important things...
Or that what you say you want... and DON'T want.... is EXACTLY what you say... You are right... it is his "interpretation" of what you are actually saying you want...
To a man, it is a matter of "proving" if only to themselves, that more/bigger/costlier is better....
 

rachels.haven

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Thanks. In this case we can't get smaller with farm animals and still have travel distance to the office he's picked. I just don't understand why he isn't taking this off ramp NOW towards owning more of his own time vs staying at this job. I feel like a decade ago he would have made the leap. Anyway, the decision is made so I'm going to act like it's water under the bridge now-really frustrated water...
I think we'll be okay. Adding what we have in the bank+what our current home will probably go for, we'll be out of debt fairly quickly...probably 3 years is my guess. He gets paid very, very well and we don't spend a lot other than goats and that pays off. It's just so much when there was an option old DH would have taken available. MOAR mortgage! When we were almost done again! Done=no more big monthly payments or interest. Suddenly we have money coming in and staying again. I even offered to give up the goats and be normal for this.

...WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE (lol)* I said.

*that's me drowning in said water
 
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