Pearce Pastures
Barn Babe
That's great. It's like a Dr. Doolittle scene or something.
ELeVan ~ Honaker Farm Journal
- Thread starter elevan
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That's great. It's like a Dr. Doolittle scene or something.- Thread starter
- #3,522
elevan
Critter Addict ♥
We lost a rooster today. He got the wrong end of the stick in a fight and lost. It's a shame to lose one but it was the one whom I disliked due to his want to flog me.
Chowdy, the cat, assisted in rounding up the ducks tonight. That cat is something else.
Chowdy, the cat, assisted in rounding up the ducks tonight. That cat is something else.
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elevan
Critter Addict ♥
Ugh. I had to literally drag B to the bus this morning and carry him on and put him into a seat. I then called the school to have them warn his teacher that he is having a bad day. B's counselor and doctors now highly suspect that he is high functioning autistic / Asperger's syndrome. All that I know for certain is that his "symptoms" are getting worse.
It's really hard. If someone were to tell me year's ago that I would take on an emotionally troubled transgender child and a high functioning autistic child (at the same time) I would have told them I didn't have the ability to do that. I'm not sure how I'm doing it right now. Life isn't always what you want it to be or expect it to be that's for sure. I've got one boy and one girl which is what I wanted - though in a different way than expected. I have a very intelligent little boy though he comes with some unexpected "guidelines".
Advocating for them both in school, in life and with doctors all the while trying to accomplish what I want to do in my own life is immensely difficult. But then there are moments, those moments when K comes up and hugs me and thanks me for letting her be herself. Or when B proudly shows me one of his drawings and it's a picture of me that says "I love Mom". Those moments make it worth it. It's a struggle though as some days I don't even want to get out of bed; I don't want to find out what this day brings because I just don't think that I have the energy for it, but then I do get up and I do get through it and my life is always better (somehow) for it.
I've only met a few of you. I've talked to a few others on the phone and via email or PM. I feel a lot of you are friends. So, I'm going to share something else in the hope that in sharing it that I can ease the tension from my mind that is there from hiding it for so long. When I was a child I was made fun of because I told other kids that I "could read minds". That wasn't entirely accurate but it was close. I have a deep intuition, some might consider it psychic awareness. I feel things, I know things - they just come to me and they overwhelm me sometimes. My kids have never gotten hurt really, I always "know" to check on them just as they are about to do something dangerous / stupid and am able to stop them before they jump out of a high tree or ride a scooter down the slide or some other foolish thing. I could feel B's frustration yesterday and called the school to check on him to find that he was under his desk crying because they had changed subjects in class and he didn't want to stop what he was doing. There are more, much more intensive feelings / knowledge but I'll keep them to myself for now, as this is just my first minor confession of what I know. My therapist says that she's never met anyone like me, that I fascinate her but that I'm not crazy. Not crazy...that's always a fear when you're different though isn't it. We all have intuition but most of us don't listen to ourselves, our inner voice as it is. We're so connected to things, to information readily at hand that we don't listen to ourselves, don't trust ourselves. If you wish to make comments or ask questions on this I'm more than willing to try to answer though I don't understand everything fully myself. I do know it helps me in certain ways and hinders me in others.
On the animal front - Daisy looks like she's swallowed an over inflated beach ball and is waddling around the field next to her slightly smaller but still waddling daughter, Diva. Lilly is getting larger and since I'm noticing it in the mornings I feel we can safely say that she's pregnant too.
for babies soon
It's really hard. If someone were to tell me year's ago that I would take on an emotionally troubled transgender child and a high functioning autistic child (at the same time) I would have told them I didn't have the ability to do that. I'm not sure how I'm doing it right now. Life isn't always what you want it to be or expect it to be that's for sure. I've got one boy and one girl which is what I wanted - though in a different way than expected. I have a very intelligent little boy though he comes with some unexpected "guidelines".
Advocating for them both in school, in life and with doctors all the while trying to accomplish what I want to do in my own life is immensely difficult. But then there are moments, those moments when K comes up and hugs me and thanks me for letting her be herself. Or when B proudly shows me one of his drawings and it's a picture of me that says "I love Mom". Those moments make it worth it. It's a struggle though as some days I don't even want to get out of bed; I don't want to find out what this day brings because I just don't think that I have the energy for it, but then I do get up and I do get through it and my life is always better (somehow) for it.
I've only met a few of you. I've talked to a few others on the phone and via email or PM. I feel a lot of you are friends. So, I'm going to share something else in the hope that in sharing it that I can ease the tension from my mind that is there from hiding it for so long. When I was a child I was made fun of because I told other kids that I "could read minds". That wasn't entirely accurate but it was close. I have a deep intuition, some might consider it psychic awareness. I feel things, I know things - they just come to me and they overwhelm me sometimes. My kids have never gotten hurt really, I always "know" to check on them just as they are about to do something dangerous / stupid and am able to stop them before they jump out of a high tree or ride a scooter down the slide or some other foolish thing. I could feel B's frustration yesterday and called the school to check on him to find that he was under his desk crying because they had changed subjects in class and he didn't want to stop what he was doing. There are more, much more intensive feelings / knowledge but I'll keep them to myself for now, as this is just my first minor confession of what I know. My therapist says that she's never met anyone like me, that I fascinate her but that I'm not crazy. Not crazy...that's always a fear when you're different though isn't it. We all have intuition but most of us don't listen to ourselves, our inner voice as it is. We're so connected to things, to information readily at hand that we don't listen to ourselves, don't trust ourselves. If you wish to make comments or ask questions on this I'm more than willing to try to answer though I don't understand everything fully myself. I do know it helps me in certain ways and hinders me in others.
On the animal front - Daisy looks like she's swallowed an over inflated beach ball and is waddling around the field next to her slightly smaller but still waddling daughter, Diva. Lilly is getting larger and since I'm noticing it in the mornings I feel we can safely say that she's pregnant too.
for babies soon
Bridgemoof
Overrun with beasties
First of all, 
to you for being able to deal with special needs children, and the attitude you have about it. It must be very difficult, yet you can do it and it gives you a sense of satisfaction.
Second of all, thanks for sharing about your keen intuition. I'd love to hear more. I think it's a special gift that people can have, but it must be hard to be able to turn it off sometimes. Being that tuned in all the time must be very difficult. I feel like I have a special empathy for my animals sometimes, and that can be a big burden as well.
So please share some more!
to you for being able to deal with special needs children, and the attitude you have about it. It must be very difficult, yet you can do it and it gives you a sense of satisfaction. Second of all, thanks for sharing about your keen intuition. I'd love to hear more. I think it's a special gift that people can have, but it must be hard to be able to turn it off sometimes. Being that tuned in all the time must be very difficult. I feel like I have a special empathy for my animals sometimes, and that can be a big burden as well.
So please share some more!
jodief100
True BYH Addict
I am not a religious person but I do belive that some things happen for a reason. These children needed someone with your special gift. Perhaps you are Betazed?
currycomb
Overrun with beasties
that is awsome, and that you know you have the ability, and use it. so many people will try to hide it, and ignore it. it is a gift. folks think i am weird, i tell them to think in their mind, what they want their horse to do, like get in a trailer, and when they do, they are just amazed. works on all animals. did it with cows, no shoot, no loading area, just some feed and the right mind set. remember, GOD never gives you more than you can handle, and HE is with you always. like was said before, these kids need you, and you need them too, although you may wonder sometimes. hang in there, nancy
- Thread starter
- #3,527
elevan
Critter Addict ♥
Betazed ? Had to look that one up, Jodie.
Though I do find it interesting...
This almost entirely describes me:
Turning "off" my intuition isn't even possible I don't think. Though it does drain me at times and I have to take a nap or fall down otherwise. I used to suppress it and try to ignore it because of a fear of seeming crazy. Doing so has caused me needless pain in the past, so I've tuned myself in more and more over the past several years. It does help me "prepare" for things that are yet to come.
I knew that my Dad would not live through the summer of the year he died four months ahead of time. He was actually doing great and improving when I had that "awareness". But he died on 6/23 which was 2 days into the "official" start of summer.
I was working on a family tree and listed my great uncle's death date as that very day. When I realized what I'd done, I erased it only to get a phone call an hour later from my grandma telling me that he had died earlier that day.
When B's biological mother poisoned him at 6 months old, I "knew" that he was high. Who even suspects that when you look at a 6 month old baby? But I knew and called 9-1-1. My mom told me I sounded like a lunatic but I was right and B is alive today because of it.
Sometimes it's a matter of knowing just the right question to ask to bring the answer out even though the question makes no sense to me. It's recognizing that things are happening for a reason and understanding what that reason is. I also "smell" things that aren't there as a scent for others...that one has helped me find things in the past.
Sometimes I can "connect" with my animals, as I did with Boingo in knowing exactly what I needed to do to save him even though I didn't know what was wrong with him at the time.
But most of the time animals just bring me peace or guide me in some way. Deer have always been there for me. I can feel them when they are near. I sense them from a distance and know where they are coming from before I ever see or hear them. DH has learned to listen when I say "Deer" in the car that it's not an endearment but that he needs to stop because they will be crossing the road ahead. Frequently whenever I'm feeling down I cross paths with them and when they stop in front of me and stare into my eyes, I'm centered again and feel peace.
Precious (goat) offered some guided intervention when she escaped and we had already drove past when I told DH to stop the car and I jumped out blindly and ran back yelling "come here baby". She came straight to me staring into my eyes the whole time. And if you understand goats you know that they don't like direct stares. I had DH put her back and keep the kids with him while I went on. Almost to my destination I came upon a horrific accident that took place as we would have been going through had Precious not stopped us.
I just got home from the school where I went to talk to K. The school had called saying that she had a belly ache and wanted to come home. I said I'd be in to talk to her. I knew she wasn't sick. Math was hard and she was trying to get out of it. A big hug and some deep breaths and she was ready to go back to class.
Though I do find it interesting...
This almost entirely describes me:
I'm not really religious either though my grandfather (to whom I was very close) was a minister. I'm more spiritual. Yes, there is a difference and you can be either or a combination or neither. My therapist says that I seem like a cross between Native American beliefs and Buddhist. I just believe what "feels right" to me...that would be God (though I'm not sure that there is only one), spirits, spirit guides (deer specifically as my life guide), reincarnation and more. It's a very personal thing to each person.
Turning "off" my intuition isn't even possible I don't think. Though it does drain me at times and I have to take a nap or fall down otherwise. I used to suppress it and try to ignore it because of a fear of seeming crazy. Doing so has caused me needless pain in the past, so I've tuned myself in more and more over the past several years. It does help me "prepare" for things that are yet to come.
I knew that my Dad would not live through the summer of the year he died four months ahead of time. He was actually doing great and improving when I had that "awareness". But he died on 6/23 which was 2 days into the "official" start of summer.
I was working on a family tree and listed my great uncle's death date as that very day. When I realized what I'd done, I erased it only to get a phone call an hour later from my grandma telling me that he had died earlier that day.
When B's biological mother poisoned him at 6 months old, I "knew" that he was high. Who even suspects that when you look at a 6 month old baby? But I knew and called 9-1-1. My mom told me I sounded like a lunatic but I was right and B is alive today because of it.
Sometimes it's a matter of knowing just the right question to ask to bring the answer out even though the question makes no sense to me. It's recognizing that things are happening for a reason and understanding what that reason is. I also "smell" things that aren't there as a scent for others...that one has helped me find things in the past.
Sometimes I can "connect" with my animals, as I did with Boingo in knowing exactly what I needed to do to save him even though I didn't know what was wrong with him at the time.
But most of the time animals just bring me peace or guide me in some way. Deer have always been there for me. I can feel them when they are near. I sense them from a distance and know where they are coming from before I ever see or hear them. DH has learned to listen when I say "Deer" in the car that it's not an endearment but that he needs to stop because they will be crossing the road ahead. Frequently whenever I'm feeling down I cross paths with them and when they stop in front of me and stare into my eyes, I'm centered again and feel peace.
Precious (goat) offered some guided intervention when she escaped and we had already drove past when I told DH to stop the car and I jumped out blindly and ran back yelling "come here baby". She came straight to me staring into my eyes the whole time. And if you understand goats you know that they don't like direct stares. I had DH put her back and keep the kids with him while I went on. Almost to my destination I came upon a horrific accident that took place as we would have been going through had Precious not stopped us.
I just got home from the school where I went to talk to K. The school had called saying that she had a belly ache and wanted to come home. I said I'd be in to talk to her. I knew she wasn't sick. Math was hard and she was trying to get out of it. A big hug and some deep breaths and she was ready to go back to class.
- Thread starter
- #3,528
elevan
Critter Addict ♥
DH is taking care of the kids for me this morning to give me a minor break from day to day stuff. I have to go see the doctor who evaluated K later today to learn his findings.
After that appointment I have to bake to fill orders that I'll deliver tomorrow.
Yesterday I had to go pick the kids up from school because B had a meltdown when it was time to get on the bus and they couldn't get him out from under his desk and couldn't hold the buses up. Thankfully they pulled K off the bus and kept her there too.
After that appointment I have to bake to fill orders that I'll deliver tomorrow.
Yesterday I had to go pick the kids up from school because B had a meltdown when it was time to get on the bus and they couldn't get him out from under his desk and couldn't hold the buses up. Thankfully they pulled K off the bus and kept her there too.
- Thread starter
- #3,529
elevan
Critter Addict ♥
REALLY??!! 
DH and I just had to coax 18 guineas out of a neighbor's electrified field and onto the road so that we could herd them home! I ended up having to use sticks to separate the wires so that DH could get through without being shocked, so that he could chase them outta the field. Then we proceeded to walk up the road behind 18 yelling guineas. Really? Some of our neighbors must get quite a laugh outta watching us herd guineas all the time. Helga's Crew has integrated into the Magnificent 7 and together they are getting themselves into all kinds of mischief.
DH and I just had to coax 18 guineas out of a neighbor's electrified field and onto the road so that we could herd them home! I ended up having to use sticks to separate the wires so that DH could get through without being shocked, so that he could chase them outta the field. Then we proceeded to walk up the road behind 18 yelling guineas. Really? Some of our neighbors must get quite a laugh outta watching us herd guineas all the time. Helga's Crew has integrated into the Magnificent 7 and together they are getting themselves into all kinds of mischief.
bonbean01
Herd Master
Wow Em...you really have your hands full!!!! I need to take tylenol and rest just from catching up on your journal
Truly...you are amazing to be able to juggle all this!!!! And your children are so lucky to have you! My Mom used to say that God only gives special children to special people and that is so true in your case...just please try to take some time and care for yourself before you wear out
Glad you mentioned your high intuition or whatever it is called...I've always been quiet about it since I feared people would call me "witchy" like they did my Grandmother and Dad, who also felt things and acted on them. I noticed I had that trait when I was a kid and it made my friends uncomfortable, so just shut up and kept it to myself. I called it "my little voice" for lack of knowing what else to call "it"...one day coming home on the school bus I saw my parents and uncle and aunt (my Dad's sister) all looking frantically around the yard. My Uncle told us kids that anyone who found his wallet would get a big money reward. So off go my sisters looking and looking. I sat down on the grass, closed my eyes and waited...then got up, walked to the burn barrel and picked up his wallet...didn't take the money as I didn't think that was fair. My Dad and Aunt looked at each other and my Aunt said...she has it too.
That little voice can be a good thing if you listen to it ... when I have not listened to it I've been sorry. When the strong feeling to go grab up my newborn son from his crib immediately, I did it...even though I was dead beat from rocking him forever to get him to sleep. Grabbed him and ran out of the room and when I got to the door the window above his crib shattered and there was glass all over the inside of his crib. So...we can fear it, or see it as a blessing...other people may think we are strange and/or crazy, but hey...who isn't in their own way?
Truly...you are amazing to be able to juggle all this!!!! And your children are so lucky to have you! My Mom used to say that God only gives special children to special people and that is so true in your case...just please try to take some time and care for yourself before you wear out
Glad you mentioned your high intuition or whatever it is called...I've always been quiet about it since I feared people would call me "witchy" like they did my Grandmother and Dad, who also felt things and acted on them. I noticed I had that trait when I was a kid and it made my friends uncomfortable, so just shut up and kept it to myself. I called it "my little voice" for lack of knowing what else to call "it"...one day coming home on the school bus I saw my parents and uncle and aunt (my Dad's sister) all looking frantically around the yard. My Uncle told us kids that anyone who found his wallet would get a big money reward. So off go my sisters looking and looking. I sat down on the grass, closed my eyes and waited...then got up, walked to the burn barrel and picked up his wallet...didn't take the money as I didn't think that was fair. My Dad and Aunt looked at each other and my Aunt said...she has it too.
That little voice can be a good thing if you listen to it ... when I have not listened to it I've been sorry. When the strong feeling to go grab up my newborn son from his crib immediately, I did it...even though I was dead beat from rocking him forever to get him to sleep. Grabbed him and ran out of the room and when I got to the door the window above his crib shattered and there was glass all over the inside of his crib. So...we can fear it, or see it as a blessing...other people may think we are strange and/or crazy, but hey...who isn't in their own way?
