My BJ, My Husband has Died


True BYH Addict
May 6, 2017
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Hamilton County, north of Indianapolis
Thanks to all my dear friends. I'm going through my phone this morning, sending pictures to some friends that are going to put together a memorial service for my beloved. We will have one in Livingston, where we both lived for 30+ years (we didn't know each other back then) and we will have one here in Lindale where he was also loved.

I am drinking coffee this morning, the first in awhile. No, haven't cleaned the coffee pot yet, I'll get to it. I boiled it in a pot on the stove. I had my Eggo toaster waffle and orange juice. I'll get dressed in a little bit and go outside and feed the sheep. Can't carry the water buckets yet, much thanks to my buddy and neighbor, Robert for helping me so much. I may go to their house after while for coffee and a visit.

I just finished going through my phone. I'll post these here. We had stopped at a huge convience store called Buc-ees and were clowning around with my daughter.
Y'all enjoy.

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I remember when you posted those. I’m glad your friends are doing a memorial photo thing. When my father in law died, they went through photos and made a poster board of them. My father in law was such a character. HUGE sense of humor! My husband left for Michigan the day he died to be with his mother. Both his sisters flew in from Colorado. I had to stay in Indiana for a few days and then bring my kids up to Michigan. I really missed out, because they went through all the photo albums, and when I got there, I was still crying, but they were yukking it up and laughing their heads off from all the funny memories of Dad. They apologized, but I get it. You couldn’t talk about my father in law without smiling and laughing. It hurt to lose him, but it was great to know and love him, and we wouldn’t give up any of those memories for the world.

You will grieve and cry and be lost. But make sure you and the kids laugh and talk about the funny stuff, because those are the parts of BJ you don’t ever want to slip away. ❤️


Herd Master
May 9, 2017
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Kenai Peninsula, Alaska
Well, I bawled my heart out.

I wish words could express how much I hurt for your loss.

Having a partner so in step with you is an incredibly rare treasure.

It is a wonderful thing that you had each other for as long as you did.

I hope that the good Lord sees fit to have your place sell at a good time for you, and for a huge sum, so you at least will be set money wise and will have no stress in that regard.

It is good that you will be with your son, and closer to family.


Herd Master
Aug 22, 2010
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Northeast Texas
I had a wonderful day yesterday. The deal with the neighbor buying 2 horses fell through, so I listed them on Craigslist. I put up pictures of Prince and Pearl and got tons of responses. I priced them at $500 each. I priced them low so that if there was a family that wanted a horse, but couldn't pay $2,000 and up, maybe my babies could find a good home. Sparkles weighed heavy on my heart. At 36, with a bad case of heaves, I knew no one would want her. I made plans to put her down. There was no way I was going to take her to auction because she would be shipped to Mexico for slaughter.

I emailed back and forth with Rachal about Prince. Her husband was working in Louisiana and wouldn't be home till the weekend. I told her that I wouldn't hold Prince so she loaded up her kids and drove an hour to my house. She absolutely fell in love with him. She facetimed her husband. I picked up Prince's feet. Then I walked away so they could talk.
she said she would go to town to an ATM, get money and come back. By this time it was getting dark. I told her to follow me to town to an ATM because I didn't want her coming back in the dark on country roads she didn't know with those kids in the car. So that's what we did. Then I had to email all the responses I got that Prince was sold and I took his pictures down.

I also got a lot of responses on Pearl. One lady stood out from the others and she wanted to come the next morning (yesterday). I said 10, they were at the gate at 8:30! They were excited. They looked at Pearl and wanted her. I explained my situation and my plans for Sparkles. so that they would know why I was selling my horses. They said they would be back with the money and a trailer. I lowered the price on Pearl to $400 because she had lost weight and looked so poor. I had to rely on neighbor Robert to feed while I was sick with Covid and she requires more than he was able to do. This couple has a Gypsy Vanner stallion they want to breed Pearl to.

Rachal texted that her husband Rueben was rained out, could they come get Prince? Yes! It would be late afternoon. Then before they even came to get him, they went to a saddle shop and bought a saddle, bridle, feed tub, brushes, halter, leadrope, and asked what bit. I took pictures of the bit, a curb with copper roller and cut back shanks. I measured it on the mouthpiece so they could get the right size. They wanted everything perfect for Prince.

DeeDee and her husband came back for Pearl. As she led Pearl out of the horse lot, Sparkles nickered for her friend. We loaded up Pearl. DeeDee asked me what I was going to do with Sparkles and I said it was going to be a couple of weeks before I could put her down, so I guess I was going to give her treats and extra attention since she would be alone.

DeeDee said, "I'll take her".
Me, "You will?"
Husband, "What are you doing?"
DeeDee, "You didn't hear her nickering for her friend?"
Husband hung his head, shaking his head. He was whupped before he even got started and he knew it.
I started crying and hugged DeeDee and told her she didn't know what that meant to me, it had been heavy on my heart. I had Sparkles 23 years and I sure didn't want to put my old friend down.

Turns out that they have a retired Chicago police horse officer for a neighbor. She brought her old service horse with her and he had died last year at 37. DeeDee was going to breed Pearl, then put the two mares at her neighbor's where she could drink her coffee on the porch and look at the horses. She said the neighbor fed her old horse twice a day and spoiled him with lots of love and would be delighted to have the two mares to care for. Sparkles loaded right up.

I was beside myself with joy. Pearl and Sparkles get to stay together and will be in a place where they are loved. I can't wait to see pictures of Pearl's foal.

Rachal and Rueben came to get Prince. I let them use my trailer because they didn't have one. Prince had been lonely all afternoon. Prince refused to load. He didn't want to leave. My sweet, in-your-pocket horse fought like a demon possessed. We weren't getting anywhere. I got a long rope out of the truck. Rueben grinned.
Me, "You know what this is for, don't 'cha?"
Rueben, "Yes Ma'm."
Me, "Then let's do this."

We tied the rope to one side of the trailer and ran it behind Princes butt and up the other side of the trailer. Out the other other side and put Rachal to hold the rope. Rueben on the lead rope and I swatted Prince's butt. Things got really interesting at this point. Prince gained a few more demons and fought like a cougar was on his back. He reared, he fell over, he reared and pawed at the trailer. At one point, Paris, Trip and Carson decided we needed their help and rushed Prince barking. Prince broke in half over that, rearing, kicking and he fell over and landed on Paris. I grabbed the lead rope as he got up, headed for anywhere but here. Paris decided she had enough of "helping" and went off to lay in her favorite hole. Prince fought us for an hour and a half. Rachal got rope burn and her fingers smashed against the trailer. Good way to break in a new horse owner. LOL

We finally wore Prince down. I got in the trailer on the lead rope with Rueben on the butt rope. I petted Prince, talked to him, and he was listening now. I got him right up to the trailer, his front legs were right up against it. His back was hunched up a little from Rueben holding steady on the butt rope.
Me, "Rueben, come pick up his feet."
Rueben handed to butt rope to Rachal and picked up a front foot and placed it in the trailer. I pulled gently on the lead rope and Prince picked up the other foot and came up in the trailer. He was exhausted. Rueben tied him and we unlaced the butt rope from the sides of the trailer and they were on their way.

When they got him home, he wouldn't come out. It took them 30 minutes to convince him to come out of the only thing that remained of his old home. Rueben brought the trailer back and we talked a little bit. He said he was used to women saying things like OH don't hurt my BABY! while the horse is pounding on him. So when I brought out that rope, he knew that I knew what I was doing. We worked together as a team, in a dance with a horse flailing out in all directions and each one of us knew where to be and what to do.

So Prince is now in a home with 4 kids, a mom that is brand new to all this and a dad that knows his stuff. I gave the little girl a book on braiding manes and tails and she gave me a tight squeezing hug.

My 3 beloved horses all have good homes. I looked out the kitchen window this morning like I do every morning and there is no view of my horses any more. But I am happy. God brought two families for my horses and I am at peace.