My BJ, My Husband has Died

Baymule

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Today marks one year that I lost the love of my life. A LOT has happened in the past year. I sold the farm off a response to a Facebook post. We closed in 63 days on February 15 of this year. With a lot of help from friends I got everything moved to my sons house in Trinity county. I got a lot of work done on it to make it habitable, it was pretty awful. LOL I found a 25 acre farm in Trinity county, closed on July 15, and moved in 3 weeks ago. I have my sheep and dogs. I’m ok.

One week from today, I’ll have knee replacement surgery. Plans were for me to do that last year and BJ take care of me. I’ll muddle through it.

I miss him every day. His box, our picture and his work gloves are on the nightstand. I wish I still had a horse to go take a long ride, but my knees hurt so bad I wouldn’t be able to do that. Oh well, maybe in 4-6 months I can revisit that idea. BJ would love the new farm, it’s beautiful.

Right now I have sheep in the small fenced front yard. A neighbor’s Brahma heifers are grazing the front field and they are at the fence, checking out the sheep. They have given me a smile for the day.

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Vienna_201

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The handful of people I've known to go through knee surgery were very happy they'd done it. Will you have anyone helping you for the first little while following your surgery?

Your words are incredibly inspiring to a young couple like ourselves. My husband and I will have our 3rd wedding anniversary this winter. We're learning, maturing, and trying to be better people and partners for one another every day... but still struggle at times. Would you mind my asking if you have words of wisdom for us that you could share?

Please excuse me if this is in appropriate... I'm not a good communicator (and if I'm honest I don't try to connect with many people). I just wanted to share that I spent a good majority of my life being raised by my aunt and uncle, and October 19th this year will mark one year since her passing with COVID. Uncle has been working less (chronic workaholic haha), connecting with family more, and has taken trips he would have never otherwise taken (on a motorcycle!?). He loved the life my aunt and him shared, and if he had things his way he wouldn't have changed a thing. But, through him I'm learning that choosing to live is love.

My sincerest condolences.

All the very best. ♥️
 

Baymule

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@Vienna_201 I don't have anyone lined up to stay with me. Was supposed to go to rehab, but rules have changed to joint replacement being a day surgery. I'm dumbfounded. A social worker will come talk to me after surgery and may send home health care to help a little, who knows?

Advice on marriage. Be each others biggest supporter, cheering squad, and offer encouragement. A positive attitude goes a long way.

Both of us were strong, independent, hard headed people. We argued but it was never a personal attack. It's ok to disagree, it's not ok to blame one another. Neither one of us were perfect, but we were perfect for each other. We said I love you many times a day.

Marriage is a living thing. It is always in motion, there is no 50-50, no keeping score. You are either 100% in or you are not. You become one at marriage, the reality is it takes time to truly become one. There will be good times, bad times, times of plenty and times that are hard. Marriage is life and life is full of surprises, plans that go all wrong and plans that go right. Life can be a struggle, marriage is sharing that struggle and loving each other no matter what life throws at you. Having that special one to share life with is an adventure in itself. Both of you will grow and mature, always remember you both are in this together.

edited to add. You are a fine communicator. I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.
 
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