OMG just shoot me now!
I was in so much pain yesterday I never got up. He fixed dinner himself. Venturing into the kitchen, still in a good deal of pain but hoping I can at least get some sourdough started because he’s complaining he’s almost out of bread and the disaster I walked into makes me wanna cry. It looks like someone’s been cooking in my kitchen for a week without cleaning up anything there are pots on the floor with dried mashed potato all over it. Nothing‘s been soaked dirty dishes. Everywhere are a mess. It’s gonna hurt to scrub all this off and I’m terribly upset. Maybe because I still hurt and I’m over sensitive, but I am very very upset.
Got the kitchen moderately clean. Got a batch of 3 loaf dough going. I had to mix by hand (ouch). It’s got a frw tiny lumps. Guess I will see if they are problematic or not, oh v
Crap!! I forgot the salt!
Ok. I hope I saved them. I dumped each shaped loaf in the stand mixer separately to add the salt, then reshape. Praying it comes out well. Kitchen still isn’t up to my standards but the worst of it is done. I just can’t finish because I have to keep resting my back and my hands. I want to play with Boone today but I’m not hp to it. Bother in law got up at 1 and is in front of tv again.
I got 13 cans of Comfrey Salve made. I can do labels tomorrow and get them shipped. I’ll bake bread in the morning. I’ll finish cleaning the kitchen then if my pain is under control.
I need a good day.
Randy got my whiskey barrel waterfall working, which makes me happy. One of my summer squash mounds is up today, Mister’s feet are splitting something awful, it’s a nightmare out here not being able to get hoofcare. I didn’t interact much with Boone today and I feel it. I hope and pray God sends me a velcro sheppie soon. I need that in my life. I’m missing Heathen so bad it hurts, even though I love Boone and Fen deeply. That total heart to heart connection just isn’t there. It’s something that is special and rare. I had it with Moe, my first Golden. And I had it with my little 1/2 Arab Quarter cross, Ollie, at the same time in my life. A relationship so rare most people never experience and can’t possibly understand it, and I had it with 2 different animals at the same time, a horse and a dog. I know it was God taking care of me because I was 16 and homeless. Mom lived in a bottle, dad was in bankruptcy and buried in stress and debt, my siblings were all much older and had been gone for years.
I already owned Ollie and made a deal with an old man for board in his little backyard barn if I fed and cleaned for the other two horses there. Hay at that time was $40 a ton for good alfalfa. I got a job waitressing at Bob’s Big Boy lying about my age and got a free room from some weirdo hippies if I cleaned house for them. It didn’t last long because they kept trying to get me to try some coke. I went from place to place, sometimes sleeping in my car with Moe and wound up on the backside of Santa Anita Racetrack living in a tackroom, ponying horses and walking hots.
Years later when talking about it, Dad said things were so bad he thought I had a better chance if he “cut me loose”. I suppose I did. I learned a lot, I was in more than a few dangerous situations that could have been tragic if not for God looking out for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back, I see His handprints all over my life.
Just reminiscing. I sure could use a dog that loves me luke Fen does Randy
Wow. Amazing how my mind can ramble
Things were different back then. It was a challenging childhood but I wouldn’t change much (except maybe having 2 parents with no divorce). I had the benefit of going when and where I needed to learn what I wanted to. I didn’t need much, just enough for me, my horse and my dog to eat. Back then it wasn’t hard to find what we needed. People were open and helpful. Being a “feral” teenager wasn’t anything like it would be these days. When I think if one of my grandkids living the life I did, it terrifies me!