Peteyfoozer’s Journey (because journaling’s not enough)

[peteyfoozer]

Boss has told me before that it’s not my place. The brother won’t listen to me, which seems to be genetic because his fricking brother doesn’t either. Boone won’t go with me, I’d never make it down the dirt road alive.
All I have is Gizmo, who is completely untrained.
I’m packing. It will take a couple of days because I have to wait for meds to deliver here then go to Burns to get the rest. Idk where I will go, as no one has room, no one can help me with my disabilities…it’s not looking good at all. I just don’t know. He’s outside now, vacuuming the house. It’s 3 years too late. He doesn’t lift a finger until he’s pushed me over the edge. I’m really tired of it. He doesn’t bother to acknowledge me when I speak. If I repeat myself or ask for an answer he gets mad. If he does speak, he does so in a way he knows I can’t hear him.
Things are pretty dark here. Sorry to unload on you guys. I guess it’s cuz it feels like even God doesn’t listen to me.

Thanks

 

[fuzzi]

Boss has told me before that it’s not my place. The brother won’t listen to me, which seems to be genetic because his fricking brother doesn’t either. Boone won’t go with me, I’d never make it down the dirt road alive.
All I have is Gizmo, who is completely untrained.
I’m packing. It will take a couple of days because I have to wait for meds to deliver here then go to Burns to get the rest. Idk where I will go, as no one has room, no one can help me with my disabilities…it’s not looking good at all. I just don’t know. He’s outside now, vacuuming the house. It’s 3 years too late. He doesn’t lift a finger until he’s pushed me over the edge. I’m really tired of it. He doesn’t bother to acknowledge me when I speak. If I repeat myself or ask for an answer he gets mad. If he does speak, he does so in a way he knows I can’t hear him.
Things are pretty dark here. Sorry to unload on you guys. I guess it’s cuz it feels like even God doesn’t listen to me.

Thanks

God hears you. Not a sparrow is forgotten by Him, and God knows how many hairs you have on your head.

ETA: I that post to remind you that you are loved.

 

[SageHill]

Always here to listen. Get the meds for Boone so you can get him down that dirt road and you'll be golden.
Thinking of you and sending prayers and good thoughts. Stay in touch.

 

[murphysranch]

Get meds for Boone that Knock Him for a Loop! Like lots of Trazadone and more. Get going, young lady.

 

[Mini Horses]

Try this....Boone & Gizmo are buddies now. See if BOTH of them together has any calming effect on Boone on that road. Just a short distance.....may work. I'm not giving up on this!

 

[peteyfoozer]

Always here to listen. Get the meds for Boone so you can get him down that dirt road and you'll be golden.
Thinking of you and sending prayers and good thoughts. Stay in touch.

We tried getting him down the road while sedated. He woke up like a bear coming out of hibernation. I may never be able to get him down that road again as each time I try he gets more reactive. It will be very difficult because I depend on him A LOT and I am unable to lift my heavy electric wheelchair in and out f the truck bed. I will be winging it without a Service Dog for the first time since shortly after Heath died.

 

[peteyfoozer]

I will try and see if Gizmo is any help.. I am a little concerned about him hurting her as he stops thinking and just rages

 

[Mini Horses]

Make it a short trip. Stop to calm. Just a try it thing

 

[peteyfoozer]

Got into it with a woman at diner. Fen was under the table and I knew someone brought a dog in right awayby the change in his demeanor. Sure enough a damned doxie in a sweatshirt tries to climb under my table with him. I am trying to push the dog away THREE times, while reminding Fen to stay put. The lady at the other end of her long leash gets mad and says I have no right to “slap” her dog.
I told her I pushed her dog back 3 different times because it was so insistent. She whined that she “didn’t know there was another dog here”. I told her it didn’t matter, she should pay attention to where her dog is going and that it’s her responsibility to control him. She was truly obnoxious and the dog was clearly a pet.

This is after getting into it with the receptionist when I went to ask them for a refill on Boone’s allergy meds. I reminded her that it’s too dangerous for us to get him there. Instead of just saying she would ask the vet, she kept pushing that I had to bring him in first, even though they have treated him, prescribed it for him and its the same damn skin condition. I was livid trying to hold my temper when I left and as a result, I had a masdive adrenaline dump or whatever it is that triggers these damned flares.
I wish the Lord would just come and take me home. There is no joy in this life outside of my dogs

 

[peteyfoozer]

Went to feedstore and as we rolled in, Fen pissed all over an open bag of chick starter. I had to ask for a spray bottle and a rag and clean it up with my feet from the wheelchair.
I asked him to puck up the rag from the floor and hand it to me when I was done and he flatly refused. It could be the smell of the cleaner but I’m inclined to believe he just doesn’t give a ****. This will be his last trip to town. He’s no help at all. God I miss Boone.