Coffee anyone ?

Alright ladies of byh, I apologize if this is the wrong thread, how do you get respect? I’m sick of talking animals with people and them treating me like I’m stupid or naive. It is so frustrating having people try to pass sick animals over (I have a friend who especially has this problem) or even the wrong gender! Especially if I’m with my family, people will half ignore me and ask brother or dad what I just answered! Even though I’m the main animal person and I do most of their care. Any advice y’all?
 
You are going to have to get the support of your dad or brother to look at the person and say, ask "....Messybun" she is the person doing the care" she is the person that knows about that... etc........ Just curious, how old are you? I am in my later 60's.... and still do not get the respect that my son will get... until he will say, hey mom, what is your opinion? He's in his late 40's.... you are going to have to accept that there is a "guy thing" and they think that they know better, more, and are the authority. And men are supposed to know things.....

The other thing is you will just have to say to one or more when they ask your opinion, or something .... just say, "why ask me, you aren't going to listen to me anyway"..... shake them up a bit.
Or say, I don't know, I only do the work.....

But it is what it is. MAKE SURE that any opinion, advise, or information you do express is 100% correct. Sooner or later some will come to respect you.... many men won't regardless. Bite your tongue, and fly under the radar, and grow a thicker skin.
 
Baymule said:
@Poka_Doodle i hope you find your cat.
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Thank you :love, found her about a half hour ago thankfully.
messybun said:
Alright ladies of byh, I apologize if this is the wrong thread, how do you get respect? I’m sick of talking animals with people and them treating me like I’m stupid or naive. It is so frustrating having people try to pass sick animals over (I have a friend who especially has this problem) or even the wrong gender! Especially if I’m with my family, people will half ignore me and ask brother or dad what I just answered! Even though I’m the main animal person and I do most of their care. Any advice y’all?
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To be honest, I have the same issue with my younger brother. He seems to enjoy offering advice when I am discussing animals with my mom, even though it is the two of us girls who do the work with the animals at our house. My dad on the other hand, is a vet, and a while back he ignored our mentions regarding one of the cats losing weight, and when he did listen, the cat was too sick to even improve the quality of life. My only advice is just to know that you aren't alone, and that you are the one who is taking care of the animals.
 
I’m in my early twenties, but because I’m short people tend to think I’m younger. Honestly my family is pretty good about it usually. Though I may have to “shake them up” every now and then lol.
I’m familiar with the “boys club” which is why I’ll bring a male family member to buy big stuff.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has these problems :lol
 
Any car stuff I just make my husband do now. I got tired of the shop guys taking advantage of my lack of knowledge and convincing me to do stuff on my car it actually didn't need. Spent so much money on unneeded services.

Animal stuff I usually push back more. My whole family knows I'm the bird expert, my cousin is a vet so we go to her for animal health questions, but she didn't specialize in poultry so on some stuff I still know more than she does.

I agree about changing how you respond. "Why should I tell you when you aren't going to listen to me, I don't need to waste my breath". Or "are you actually going to listen to what I tell you this time?" And then you stop and stare them in the eyes while raising your eyebrows, wait at least a count of 6-8 seconds so it gives them time to process. If they actually respond politely and seem like they will take the info, then continue. If not, just end the conversation.
 
Just a thought so maybe keep your heads. Actually not a thought a fact and really I don't care if you lose your heads. Here's a little secret alot of guys have people try to take advantage of them too it just doesn't happen to u ladies.

If your are doing the talking and they respond back to the male that is present that is rude. But if people are trying to rip you off I'd say 99.9 percent of the time they don't care if your male or female.
 
I worked in a man’s world most all my life. I worked in welding and machine shops and actually had men come tell me to leave and quit because I was taking a man’s job who needed it to feed his family. I can’t repeat here what I told them. LOL I’ve had to prove myself multiple times.

My advice is grow an attitude. You know how you have to handle a pissy horse and go crazy lead mare on it? Throw your arms to make yourself BIG and make that horse move it’s feet. You are the winner.

Go there in your mind. Obviously you can’t chase some insulting dingbat around waving your arms and screaming like a banshee. But you can command respect. Be firm, be polite and say like, I may not look like it, but I am the person you need to be talking to about that. Or, I can’t believe you are ignoring me, I’m the expert here, not these guys! Excuse me, I know I’m short but that’s no reason to overlook me. Then join the conversation giving knowledgeable pointers. You can do this.
 
It is attitude....and I don't mean a bad one but, a confident one. I have worked with a lot of men, even as their ”boss". Can't say I've felt treated as being "just a female". Maybe because I don't come across as that. ;) Of course, I've got a few years on ya. That confidence is what makes them show respect. The boss mare rules just by attitude -- ok, maybe a nip or two but, usually just once does it.
 
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